It was just a week after I returned from my vacations. I was trying to console my irate daughter who is nearly eight months old now and is terribly missing her grandparents and extended family, is feeling lost with just her mum around her and is trying to figure out and make sense where the pool of people who were trying to pamper and spoil her have vanished.
I received a phone call from an unknown number, I answered and said hello. On the other end I could hear a lady speak. It was my manager who had called to ask me as to what have I decided on getting back to my work. The reality then hit me that I am on my maternity leave and got to get back to work. I had several questions pop into my head like ‘ why now? all seemed so nice and rosy with the new member of my life’ ; ‘ do i want to work again?’ ; ‘can i trust my daughter with some stranger?’; ‘will some nanny take care of my daughter just as i do?’; ‘ what if my baby cries for me’ ; ‘ what if she does poo?’;
The questions never seemed to seize and my head was filled with too many if’s, but’s and what’s.
After constant debating and discussion in my head for nearly a week I finally came to a conclusion to say I choose to be a stay at home mum untill my daughter is old enough to manage herself and will be able to communicate clearly. I definitely do understand that my career will take a back seat but then i have to reach my destination at my own pace. I am competing with no-one. If this is what it takes to give a beautiful memory to my daughter, so be it. I want her to have a super fun, happy and joyous moments at every stage of her life and have no memories of repentance, regrets or any bitter memory.
I love you loads doll.
A Mothers Dream 